intro picture for student tutor meeting

One of my friends once pointed out that I tend to use vague concepts and imprecise words when arguing. I eventually realized that it's because I'm often too lazy to form concrete thoughts. Instead, I prefer to vibe with my intuitions and beliefs, expressing them through rhetoric rather than precise language.

The scary part is that my intuitive understanding of things often breaks down pretty quickly when someone questions it properly. As this kept happening, I became increasingly irritated with arguments that focused on dissecting the language rather than engaging with the underlying ideas. I even started preaching that we should focus more on concepts than on linguistics. But how can we think about or communicate those concepts accurately without precise language?

I think my tendency to rely on ambiguity in everyday life has contributed to my unintentionally manipulative behavior. The use of AI has accelerated this tendency. I can explain an idea to AI vaguely, and it will formulate that idea into something coherent and articulate, often acting like a yes-man in the process. As a result, I lose the incentive to think critically about my ideas and formulate them precisely myself.

my gwaad

I can't stop this song from playin nonstop inside my brain. I like how it makes me feel.

good point

aura unmatched

raye is basically the modern day homer

accurate

in my case, instead of toys, she's funding my digital pet project, hehe

true words

তুমি মাঝে মাঝে আমার কাছে কবিতা চাইতা;
আমি মনের বিরুদ্ধে কবিতা লিখতাম,
মনের বিরুদ্ধে কি কবিতা লেখা যায় রে?

[sometimes, you would ask me for poetry;
I would write poetry against my own mind,
but can poetry be written against one's own mind?]

তুমি মাঝে মাঝে আমার কাছে তোমারে চাইতা;
তুমি মাঝে মাঝে আমার কাছে আমারে চাইতা,
আমি মনের বিরুদ্ধে নিজেরে দিতাম রে,
মনের বিরুদ্ধে কি নিজেরে দেয়া যায় রে?

[sometimes, you would ask me for yourself;
sometimes, you would ask me for myself,
I would give myself against my own mind,
but can one give oneself against one's own mind?]

I do not know many stanzas that capture something this complicated so simply.

they don't frame the conflict as a matter of one person loving and the other person failing to love. there is no obvious villain, no accusation, not even a particularly strong attempt at self-defence. there is just an expectation, an inability to meet it naturally, and a quiet admission of the pressure.

you can love someone and still not feel like giving them the particular thing they want from you. you can understand why they want it, know that refusing it might hurt them, and still feel an internal resistance that you cannot manufacture your way out of.

if someone asks you to write a poem, you can technically sit down and write one. but if the thing they actually wanted was "your poetry", then forcing it defeats the point, doesn't it? something that is meaningful precisely because it is freely offered becomes strangely hollow when it is produced out of obligation.

the song doesn't answer whether the speaker is right or wrong. maybe they are being unfair. maybe the other person's expectations are perfectly reasonable. maybe the speaker is avoidant and selfish. all of those things can be true at once. but deciding who is guilty is much less sophisticated than acknowledging a much more uncomfortable truth: sometimes the thing another person wants from you is something you can give, but cannot genuinely want to give.

And once we recognize that, we're left with the question of whether giving it anyway is an act of love, an act of self-betrayal, or somehow both.

need a baby and its momma

interesting

এটা গতকাল রাতে দেখলাম। আমি Quantum Information এক্সামের জন্য দুইদিন পড়াশোনা করেছি। পুরোটাই Antigravity দিয়ে। ও আমার জন্য dumb down করে mini-book বানিয়েছিল। সেগুলো পড়ে পড়ে স্ক্র্যাচ থেকে সব বুঝেছি কারণ pre-req কোর্সগুলো করা হয় নাই।

Antigravity তে সবকিছু অর্গানাইজড এবং বিশাল context ধরে রাখতে পারে। easy to use. কিন্তু ব্রেইনটা ভালো না। এটা হওয়ার কথা না। এখানে যে probing এর ব্যাপারটা এনেছে আর গ্রাফ হিসেবে রোডম্যাপ বানিয়ে one step at a time এর ব্যাপারটা — এটা যদি Antigravity তে skill হিসেবে আনা যায়, তাহলে বেশ ভালো হয়। আপাতত এই উইকেন্ডে আমার ইচ্ছা এটার একটা আমার জন্য সুইটেবল ভার্সন দাঁড় করানো।

মজার ব্যাপার হলো ছেলেটা ফিনিশ এবং হেলসিংকিতে থাকে। cool মনে হলো। connected হওয়া দরকার।

today's weather. এর মাঝে কেন অফিসে যাইতে হবে?

মাঝে মাঝে একই গান একটানা পঞ্চাশ ষাট বার শুনি। আশাবরী উপন্যাসে দুলু আপা এরকম পাগল ছিল।